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Monday, August 30, 2004

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I've already dropped a class. Damnit.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 8:03 PM

Thursday, August 26, 2004

"One study cited in the AMA brief suggests 'maturity is incomplete until age 19.' "
Apparently, I'm mature. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ridiculous.

Mr. Turtle got a new home today. I will miss him. I hope he does not get renamed, because we worked really hard on that name... um... yah.

Buster has cancer. Sad day. Wickit has a growth now too... he is getting it removed tomorrow and hopefully it will not spread. I don't want my puppies to die. I get really sad when I see how sick Buster is... it's hard for him to breathe even when he's sleeping. It tears my heart in two.

Stop being so appealing ebay! I'll be broke again before I know it.

Four occurrences while painting:
1) White suburbian teenagers- you are not black... turn down your rap.
2) It is possible to have the same conversation each time someone walks by me painting.
3) I am actually somewhat living a professional actor's life. I am working at a coffee shop and not acting.
4) Painting is a surfer's dream job. Free high, free tan. Woah.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:39 PM

I've figured it out.
I am detatched because I don't know where I'm going/staying. If I attempt to stay in contact with old friends, it feels like they have already replaced me. In fact, I didn't realize it then, but some had never made a place for me to begin with. So, what do you do? Do you make new friends? What if I just have to leave again? Then that's just that many more people that will eventually classify me as "replaceable." I've always been detatched though. Too many people to pick and choose who to get close to. Besides... if you get close to people, they have the power to hurt you. Hurt = bad. So... what do I do? I'm tired of only giving people the surface of me. I'm tired of feeling like I have no one to call last minute for an adventure. I'm tired of feeling like a leech to the one I finally opened up to. I'm tired of feeling like I can't get close to people because they'll just fade away. I'm tired. That's the deal. I'm tired. I'm trying to fix it.

Step 1: Decide on major.
Step 2: Apply to school with said major.
Step 3: If accepted to said school, open up and meet people.

The thing that freaks me out most about meeting new people is that they almost always remind me of someone I knew before. And I don't like thinking of people as "that person that reminds me of (fill in the blank)." I was once told, "The people you meet in college are the same people you knew in high school. They just have different names." Why is that so right? This is why totally new people appeal to me. Angele will forever stick in my memory. There is no one in the world like her. But what if eventually I run out of new and interesting kinds of people? Un-new people kind of turn me off. What do I do then? Not make anymore friends? This is getting really weird in my head.

DONE.

I am buying a button maker for my summer project with Melissa face. We shall capitalise on America's ebaying youth. Until then...

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 1:04 PM

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

He is so nice to me.
And I am such a moody bitch.
Sorry.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 2:15 AM

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

It's hella fun to have a blogpatrol account...
My favorite Yahoo search that links people to my blog is "mutilations and piercings"
That sounds accurate enough.
So far I have 3 piercing outings planned. One with Jess during our weekend party full of drunken fun. One with Brittany when she gets her first tattoo. And one with boy to do the brows. If anyone else wants to claim me for a Vincinnes trip, speak up fast. I'm running out of places to put holes in my head.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 7:45 PM

I took a shower and shaved my legs... I feel a little better.
Why did I shave my legs? It's pointless.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 6:52 PM

I missed Ball State for the first time today. I was reading random people's blogs and realized a lot of people from Evansville are going there. It somehow seems wrong that other people are where I once was after I'm gone. I know it shouldn't. I wanted so badly to be something I'm not. I'm okay with that now. But it does weird me the hell out that my old BSU friends might somehow take one of my Evansvillians under their wing. Or something. I never got claimed by a senior. Emily did. Wtf? I didn't even get invited to the "'Bring a Freshman to the Party' Party." God, I was a loser. I miss Angele. I wanted to be one of those people that got cast in shows. Hahahaha... stupid dream. What the hell am I doing? I hate that other people are chasing my dream and succeeding. Don't try to talk to me about this, because I won't.



posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 5:57 PM

A great Frank Sinatra quote:
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they are going to feel all day."

Thanks, Franky.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 4:52 PM

AAAAAAAAAND still awake.

Just keeping you all updated.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 2:42 AM

So, the thing I hate most about being home is... I can't sleep. I don't really have a bed here anymore. So, I have to sleep on the floor or a couch. And the living room is creepy, so couch is out. But the floor in my room is just too hard tonight. I can't sleep. So I'm typing instead. Good move, right? Okay. Link time

Bands worth your time of day:
Nintendo inspired hardcore (not crap Evansville hardcore either) http://www.horsetheband.com
Jamaican me wanna rock http://www.skindred.com
Hometown hotties http://www.paradigum.com
Soulful swooning http://www.blueoctober.com
You might be on drugs or listening to this band http://musicofgratis.com
Is that 311? http://www.misguidedyouth.com

Who else should I promote....
Who do I like enough to mention...

Favorite Ebayers:
Wearydrearies- hot lolita goth
Shrinkle- cybergoth fruit
*Minkie*- rockabilly babe
Ohdollface- reconstruction site
Thevintagedoctor- vintage slip surgery
Onearmedscissor04- queen of the corset

Favorite DIY-ers:
Melissa-dress diva
Jessica- home maker
Hennifer- bead-dazzle
JGoode- iron(on)man

Things presently being watched on ebay-
Corset pinstripe dress by Minkie
Black slipcover for loveseat

Things won on ebay-
My beautiful pink dead ballerina dress by Wearydrearies

Things lost on ebay-
Cherry dress that I didn't really need but was cheap by Wearydrearies

Wearydrearies looks like Ashley
Shrinkle looks like Sadie... hahaha... Sadie, Sadie married lady
Minkie looks like my old roommate from BSU
The others don't have About Me pages so I can't really continue on with this

I really am trying to get tired enough to sleep. Believe it or not I've been typing nonsense for 40 minutes. I even tried listening to Blue October to sleep. It so didn't work. My eyelids are heavy but I just know I won't sleep if I try. DANGIT...

Must get Exorcist back to Natalie. Must not leave phone charger in Evansville anymore. I might go home tomorrow after painting since this lack of sleep is sucking my soul out through my right nostril. What a joke. I still have paint on me. ROAR

I'm something else *BIG GRIN*
I think that's good.

GONE.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 1:07 AM

Monday, August 23, 2004

Rolled over last night
Somehow you got in my bed
Between our hands, between our hearts
No, your memory's not dead
You're the ghost
That crawls in between
You're the one
That keeps him from me

I hope I'm saying this clearly
Because I want you to hear me- no mistakes
I hope I'm saying this clearly
Because I want you to hear me say

Let him go
Because he's mine now
Let him go
You've still got him somehow
Let him go
He's the one thing I need
Let him go, let him go,
Let him go to me

In his voice
I can still hear your name
In his eyes
I can still feel the pain
Of the wounds
The wounds you left me to mend
In his heart
There's a pain that won't end

I hope I'm saying this clearly
Because I want you to hear me- no mistakes
I hope I'm sayint this clearly
Because I want you to hear me say

Let him go
Because he's mine now
Let him go
You've still go him somehow
Let him go
He's the one thing I need
Let him go, let him go,
Let him go to me

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:04 PM

"I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you"

I love/hate you uterus.

I officially work at another coffee house. Just call me "Hippie" from now on. Yes, that's right. I work at Penny Lane.... oh joy! That means I don't really have to bathe before work if I don't feel like it. AND I can pierce my eyebrow! WHOOP WHOOP! Eat that society.

Apparently I'm bull-headed. I quote my grandfather, "Ever heard the saying 'Everyone's out of step except Jennifer'?" I answered, "That's exactly right." I feel it's easier to avoid confrontation, but I hate that my family thinks they've got me figured out. They may have been around me my whole life, but in all honesty they know nothing about me. They've never attempted having a real conversation with me. They assume they know me. I am much more than that.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 9:11 PM

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Ebay is the devil.

One millionth job interview today... let's hope this one ends with a job or something. What a mess.

MOW MOW MOW

ROAR

Effin Charlotte in my dream... stealing my dress... then my ceremony... what the hell. Too much Sex and the City.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 1:41 PM

Friday, August 20, 2004

Do you think I'll fail a class for replying to this email in such a manner?

Mitchell, Ron G wrote:
Jennifer,
You signed up for a conference at 5:20 p.m. on TUESDAY. In the future,
you should make sure you have your facts straight before leaving a
public note that attempts to suggest I'm not fulfilling my professional
duties.
RM

RM,
I am curious to know if this situation will count as a double absence? I
admit, it was my mistake. However, I traveled twice for the first round
of group conferences due to your mistake of forgetting our critiques at home. Also, I would not have left a note if your colleague had not
suggested it. I had no malicious intent. In the future, I suggest you get your
facts straight before accusing me of being less of a person than I am.
Jennifer

I'll let you all know how this pans out.


posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:42 AM

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Seriously, all of you with blogs of your own need to get accounts at www.blogpatrol.com. Apparently, my blog showed up on the "most recently published list" this morning, because I got 9 visitors from random places. Crazy, sexy, cool.

My tag board has a disease I think.

Brian's flipping cat has ME all sick now right after boy gets healthy. What a crock.

Once upon a time, a girl lived in a land far far away. That land was called Fort Branch. Then one day she journeyed to the big city that wasn't really that big, but she sort of liked it anyway. And she felt at peace for the first time in her life. Except she had bad dreams sometimes, but it's okay. Dreams are just dreams. And she was living the hell out of life when she was awake.

I should call Donna and see if she needs help at Center Stage. I should. Really. And I'll go to Cross Eyed Cricket today. YES. I will. GOOD unemployed Jeni.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:46 AM

i refuse to sleep anymore since I have nothing but terrible dreams

don't leave me

i quit... effing brain

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 6:15 AM

I was tempted to never post again today. Not because I don't want to, but because when I logged in, it said I'd posted 311 posts. Good number.

ANYWAY.

My reality is way better than my dreams. When did that happen?

Hippy, librarian look will be in. I'm calling it. Though I'm still pissed about JLo and the side ponytail.

Happy is a place. That place is with him

Jess face likes Matt face. AWE.

My eyes itch. Damn cat. Must wash face.

Goodnight my dearies.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 12:30 AM

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Melissa is my dress diva... between her, Jenny Castellano (who does amazing hair, so you should all go to her place White Sands on Morgan Avenue), and my daddy's office... I will be Amy Lee. Unless I get over this phase before my hair gets long. I can almost put it in a full ponytail... I should never have hacked it all off. No one let me cut my hair drastically again until I'm like 28 or pregnant. Which will be around 28. If I can convince anyone to commit to a lifetime of my crap. How did this go from Melissa's awesome dress design to my self-esteem issues.

Damnit

Take two: Melissa is making me a beautiful dress. And I am forever indebted to her. Not only for the dress. One time she also gave me this one guy who is really awesome, and I kept him. I got off track again

Take three: Melissa is sewing me a beautiful dress. It is a red corset top with ribbing and black stitching. The skirt is big layers of crinolin sticking out from under a black skirt with shredded chiffon on top... She is my dress diva. Go costumer, go!

I am doing laundry. I will have clothing to wear again! HURRAH! And then I can bring the other half of my clothes home and wash them. So exciting.

Dead ballerina dress went over quite well... except when Jay implied that I was a hooker. Well, I'm not. So there. If I was, I wouldn't be broke all the time, now would I?

Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent!

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 5:51 PM

interesting tip: drink ice-cold water to keep hydrated. your body burns more calories as your body heats up the water. huh. who knew?

I love Nutella. I miss Germany.

Going to Goodwill... soon.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 11:07 AM

I have bad dreams.
1) I was in a show, and I was really really good, and no one cared at all.
2) I got ignored for a band from Nashville.
3) "I just want to kiss her...*insert drool*"
That's right, three bad dreams. My subconcious sucks. I've been having too many bad dreams lately. If you'd like to make a donation of sleeping pills, lemme know.

Also... I still need a job. Damnit.

My eyes are poofy and in pain. I do not feel good. I have laundry to do and a lawn to mow. I need to clean my car and my rooms. Gas prices jumped up 15 cents the day I ran out. Screw that. All of that.

I'm not disappointed.

I have new dreams. I have constant dreams. I have bad dreams. I have daydreams.

I'm glad to know they are all just dreams due to this reality.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:12 AM

Monday, August 16, 2004

Stacie is my exercise partner in crime... muahaha.

No! Hennifer! My tagboard wasn't letting me tag you back :)
A sly smile forgives all bitchiness :) THE FOX!
MISS YOU! Be back in Evv soooon!

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 9:09 PM

"OH BUSH-MAN, YOU ARE NATURE'S GREATEST WONDER!" ~ Stanley Stupid of The Stupids

I'm sorry for being mean earlier. I am grumpy. I have been grumpy for three days. Stupid uterus hormonal curse.

Who will work out w/ me at USI on M,W,F from 11:30-2:30? Well, not that long. Just an hour sometime in there. Anyone? Okay... lemme know.

GRUMPY. I'm like that damn dwarf that everyone hates and never got Snow White because he hid his emotions. What the hell.

I will eat healthy, I will eat healthy, I will eat healthy. DAMNIT.

Rachel and Jessica like to visit me and lay on my floor. I like having friends who are content to get carpet mark on their face just to talk to me.

What is this feeling?

I want to hold you high and steal your pain away



posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 6:57 PM

You guys suck for not coming to the show. It was rockin.

Blah blah blah... nothing to say... blah.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 11:33 AM

Friday, August 13, 2004

one more page to go... today... then more pages to go... damnit... it's a vicious cycle.

COME TO HACIENDA! IT WILL BE A FIESTA!

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:40 AM

Thursday, August 12, 2004

I hate my English class.
I should pick a new topic.
CURSES.

I quit.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 9:17 AM

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

I suppose we will be friends again.

Cute names :) Good job guys!

Michael Moore uses this form of fallacy to sway people: Appeal to Ignorance
I just learned that from my English class... whoo... life skills, yo.

I have an interview at Dry Ice tomorrow. WHOO! I need a jorrrrb/money.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force... the end :(

Yay for exciting weekends of mayhem and music.

Is this reasoning or rationalization?

There is no excuse. There is no. There is. There.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 11:28 AM

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

REGARDING SATURDAY
If anyone is interested in following me to Mesker, meet at Hacienda on First Avenue at 1:30. We'll do lunch and then head to the show. If you can only make lunch, go for it! I still want to see you, goofs. If you can only make part of the show and need directions, give me a ring. I'll get you there.
Remember:
Saturday August 14, 2004
Mesker Park Shelter #3
3pm-11ish
FREE
Lineup:
3:00 - Lipstick Dogbone (Tell City)
3:45 - Screams Go Silent (Madisonville, KY)
4:30 - Hold Your Ground
5:15 - Blood Tribe
6:00 - Frayl (St. Louis)
6:45 - Daybreak (Louisville)
7:45 - PARADIGUM
8:45 - Guns Make Ghosts (St. Louis)
9:45 - Exempt

Death in my dreams needs to stop. So does someone's presence. Dreams. Only dreams.

I will get better. I will get. I will. I.

I like having roommates all moved in!

MINE... so lucky am I.

Is true happiness the ability to be sad and still enjoy your life?

JGoode is a t-shirt diva. Show me the way.

Hennifer's painting has a spot reserved. We shall decorate and conquer.

5 am- I do not regret this loss of sleep. I shall cherish these moments of friendship.

Pause-play relationships are not at all a bad thing. Together we make a selfish bitch. My Rachler.

"I have never seen you this happy all the time"

Staple apartment foods: diet coke, milk, bread

"Woah here she comes
She's a man eater"

Are you a Carrie?

Nap
Pay tuition
Research
Boy
Thank you cards
Vectren
Sleep

And they all lived happilly ever after. Even though they had an ugly loveseat.


posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:17 AM

Monday, August 09, 2004

I'm glad I meet the qualifications for a bad dream. Cute.

I will not make more people ill. I will not make more people. I will not make. I will not. I will. I.

There are no mirrors in which we can inspect the flaws of our soul. However, the souls of our friends are a reflection of our better traits.

Elllllliotttttt... awe... DONE.

Philosophers = spark
Revolutionaries =fire
Children = inferno

Hug someone today. Unless you're sick. Then hug someone when you're not contagious.

I got offered a free puppy yesterday. I turned it down. Good Jeni.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 11:27 AM

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Kurt Gomez emailed me. How strange.

Lies. The foundation crumbles, and somehow the walls still stand. What a crock. 25 years of lies.

If you see a tear in the window, it's just my reflection being sad.

I will not lie.

White picket fences still have sharp points.

When the world falls away, falls away...

And you say
It's okay
To be happy
This way
But I can't
And I don't
And I know
That I won't
Find some peace of mind today
That's alright... I never liked the silence anyway
Don't want to hear the thoughts reverberate
In my head, in the head, in the one I hate



posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:01 AM

Friday, August 06, 2004

I realized today how lucky I am to be in choir. Dan did not have to let me in mid-year. He did not have to allow me to go to Ireland. I would not have the amazing circle of friends at USI that I currently do without those experiences. And if you're reading this and saying, "well, she hasn't seen me all summer." I haven't seen anyone all summer. Minus the roommies, Melissa, and boy. I have an issue where, if something is not in front of my face, I tend not to make time for it. I'm very laid back about friendships, and don't "hang out" much. If I run into someone or something works out to where I can see someone, that's great. Otherwise, know I hold you fondly in my heart and the next time I see you, I'll cherish the meeting of our paths. Word is bond. Be kind to each other. I'll see you all in class.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 12:54 AM

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Stupid midterm... 800 word essay in 50 minutes. Ridiculous.

My stomach hurts real bad.

I have a lot of homework to do. Damn.

posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 8:26 AM

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Things to do:
Wed- email Aimee Arrfa, read and review papers, water bamboo, meet Lissa
Thurs- mow, group conference, Fiddler
Fri- girls night in (!!!)
Sat- haircut, Caitlin's bday shindig
Sun- F.B. church, family reunion, final draft

www.blogpatrol.com <-- fun sight
today's forecasted visitors: 0... how sad is that? what a bust...

The stalker's roommate was following my car on foot yesterday... I was really excited to get past the crosswalks and get the hell out of there.

Oh my goodness... cosmo + three girls + one guy + 1am = good times

Midterm day. Did I study? No. Do I care? No.

REMEMBER
Saturday August 14th
3pm-11pmish
Mesker Park Shelter House #3
lotsa bands, lotsa genres
FREE
...just be there...
(I would say please, but then I'd have to be offended if you don't come because I requested politely)



posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:13 AM

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

If you see a dead horse in your dream, then it indicates that something in your life that initially offered you strength is now gone. This may refer to a relationship or situation.

To witness a massacre in your dream, suggests that you are a follower. You follow the ideals of others without question and hesitation.

Weird... I don't think either of those are true this time... stupid subconcsience. Get it right next time.
posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 11:33 AM

So... the Mug is officially closed. And I got stalked. Thank you to JGoode and friends for helping me out. You are blessings. Muchos thankos to my Justin for being my protector and rock in all things shakey. Stalkers should be imprisoned. BLAHHHH!

I am poor. Right when you get money, you turn around and have to pay another bill. Whatevah yo.

I have a haircut this Saturday. I shall be Amy Lee. But cooler. And sassier.

I missed Allison and Jeff and Brian. WTF mates? Where do people GO.

Nicole and Natalie make procrastinating more fun and accessible than ever.

DAS END.
posted by The Impossibly Cute One on 10:38 AM